5 Random Thoughts:
1 - Life....LIFE gets crazy and life gets REAL! So last week I FINALLY had my long awaited visit with the neurosurgeon. Some of you know and some don't that I had to have a brain MRI done due to different issues stemming from my blood pressure, the retinal hemorrhage I had months back and some numbness and tingling in my arm. So I had the MRI on a Friday morning and by Friday afternoon they had called me with the results saying that there was something on there and they weren't sure if it was an aneurysm or not so I needed to see a neurosurgeon to rule that out. The pit you get in your stomach when you hear something like that is indescribable. You can put on a brave face for everyone you know but you can't stop thinking about it, the unknown is haunting you and you just feel like a hot mess. I was so incredibly lucky to have a bestie in the medical field and even though she doesn't live in PA she has a friend who does who hooked me up with quite possibly the BEST doctor I have seen in all my 39 years!!!! I FINALLY got in to see him last week and he was AH-MAZING! He made me feel so incredibly comfortable and I left there saying he was the most genuine, caring, precise doctor I have ever met. Long story short I have 2 more tests to do next week to definitely rule out no aneurysm, but then he started questioning my high BP and has anyone tested my kidneys? Nope, no one has but my nurse friend has been saying that for MONTHS!!! So he is sending me for a renal ultrasound next Friday. This is going to sound TWISTED but I have NEVER ever wanted something to come back on a test as badly as I do that kidney test! Ok well hear me out...here's why. Evidently you can develop high BP after the birth of a child or after a surgery. I developed high BP after Casey and while I was 5 months pregnant with Casey I had a major stomach surgery so the possibility that my BP is related to this is pretty good. Being on BP meds is something I have struggled with since day 1!!! I detest being on medication and especially for that so if there is ANY chance that they can fix this and I don't need to be on it that would seriously be the most amazing news EVER. Phew, that exhausted me, but that's what has been going on so if I've been a little quiet or preoccupied that's the deal. I've just had a ton on my mind no matter how much you think it's nothing or everything is going to be fine, you can't put it completely to rest so it's a struggle.
2 - On top of that I have been INCREDIBLY lucky this year to have ALL of my clients returning to me, mixed in with a few new ones and I am CRAZY busy swamped between working, shooting and editing!!! I think I am basically to the point that I am going to be doing shoots for all of my regular clients and will only be taking newborns and maternity as new clients. I don't want to ever have to turn away one of my loyal regular clients because I don't have a date for them. I LOVE the relationships I have built with each and every one of them and their trust and continued business with me is the GREATEST compliment I could ever receive. (This doesn't mean I won't EVER take a new client, so please don't stop referring to me, just that my shoot dates will be offered first to my repeat clients and any dates still available I will offer to any potential new clients) I am COMPLETELY booked for this season and it is the most surreal feeling to say that. I even succeeded in carving out personal time in between this year for my family so I'm not missing out on fall and holiday activities. My last day of regular shoots will be November 30th. After that it will be newborns & maternity sessions until spring. If you would like to schedule something after the new year or you or someone you know is pregnant or have a newborn please message me. Thank you from the deepest part of my heart to all of my clients! You all mean the absolute world to me!!!! Muahhhhh!!!!
3 - So with all of the above going on my fitness has LACKED to say the least! Ugh! I feel like complete crap even admitting it but it happened and there's nothing I can do about it except pick myself up, dust myself off and get back at it. I'm real, life is real and it happens. The biggest thing to realize is I don't feel like crap because 'oh, I'm getting out of shape or oh, I'm a loser' I feel like crap because my body is feeling it. I don't have the energy I normally have. I don't have the feel good endorphins my body was coming to LOVE. I'm not eating as clean as I was. All of these things are making my insides cringe. So I am making a conscious effort to really buckle down and get back at it. I got up today with fire in me to knock out my workout and read some personal development because whether you believe it or not it TRULY helps your inner being. I need to get back to feeling more happy and positive. It's not that I'm HATING life or anything like that but I can feel the change since all of this has been going on and I don't like it. So even though I am a Beach Body coach I am participating in one of my own challenge groups like I am a new challenger, starting a new journey and getting the motivation and accountability I need. Here's to getting back to me!
4 - Family and Friends.....the root of everything.....my everything. I have really been reflecting on what is important to me lately and it's all becoming VERY clear now that our family dynamic is changing with a daughter who is in high school and coming in to her own. Her own life, her own being and I am left looking at an empty chair when we are out to dinner. Yes, this may sound dramatic but when your kids are little you think the time will last FOREVER and then you blink and the polly pockets are gone, the worshipping of Mommy & Daddy is long in the distance and the reality that they will be leaving and starting their own journey sets in QUICKLY. I have seen how much social media can eat up time and suck away my to do list from happening. Oh, I'll just jump on FB a minute and see what's going on and BOOM...hours later and the laundry is still sitting there. The same goes with spending quality time with those you love. So I've lessened my time on there to actually LIVE in the moment with my family & friends instead of worrying about posting it. This may not be true for everyone, so this is just personal to me. I can't balance it well and my time with Hayley is especially limited. Last night I said the heck with editing. She wanted to watch some shows with me and it was the BEST 2 hours of my life, curled up in bed with some Brookside chocolate and laughing with my best girl. For me making the memories is so extremely precious and that's what my focus is on right now.
5 - 2 weeks until we go to NYC!!! Eeeeeekkkkk! I can NOT wait! We went closer to Christmas last year and although we had a fabulous time the amount of people there was pure mayhem so we are going earlier this year in hopes of enjoying it even MORE! Shopping, Central Park, Eating......it should be delightful.
Ok, well that's it. That's the low, down dirty truth that is my LIFE! If I've been distant I apologize, just a ton going on and on my mind. Thank you to everyone for your love & support it's meant the world to me. It's time to hit the editing before work. Have a fabulous day!!!!
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